This time last year I experienced freedom in its purest form

All the traits that I had associated with chaos proved to be the recipe to think and exist without constraints or coercion.

Eating with hands, no right wing mirror in the cab but confident sharp right turns. The baby strapped on the back of the mother who sits behind the motorcyclist, manoeuvring transportation or construction or sports or dancing all in open toed shoes . The arguments at traffic lights that are nothing more than a moment of back and forth that will surely be forgotten once the light turns green again. The neighbours who hand you surplus of crops without expectations of receiving your surplus. The slow evenings taking in the cool air whilst watching the sunsets with loved ones or alone, or gathering by a roadside eatery and engaging in random conversation with the locals.

The smell of smoked meat, roasted corn and frying plantain held in the air by the warmth of the sun. All the restaurants that offer indoor outdoor dining not for want of aesthetic but for practicality, the hawkers that approach your car in traffic and cure your craving for a sweet treat - or hey, maybe even a watch, or a mirror the quick exchange of Francs from palm to palm. The tiny frogs that gather by the watering can at night and the goats and cows that roam the streets in the day. The children that chide the animals that are owned by the entire neighbourhood. The noise - oh the soundscape of never ending chatter, honking horns, the bus conductors, the trader's advertisment of their product and the discussion of elders, the sound of the call to prayer next to the sound of Pentecostal praise and worship. The slippers that line the streets on the steps of the Mosque for Friday prayer and the colours and the patterns of the garments that adorn the members of the Sunday service.

I think it's funny that a lot of our parents left Africa and the Caribbean to give us better lives but now many of us are planning our return as we simultaneously realise that a green card does not signify greener pastures. The lack of community and no sense of belonging, the constant grey skies, the value that is put of material, the daily commute into your office cubicle avoiding the gaze of the strangers you're pressed up against on the train. Never actually touching the ones and zeros that you spend your health to earn. Then spend your free time designating your earnings to expenses.

"Go back to your own country" has never felt more like an invitation, as the better life that was once sought turns out to be the recipe for our mental demise...